How to feel old

  1. Book your marching band for the opening of a two-day rock concert.
  2. Peruse list of over 100 bands; find you are familiar with maybe 10.
  3. Meet with organizers night before said concert. Meet a band manager who may be barely old enough to legally purchase alcohol.
  4. Have said band (Say Anything) march with your band, with no clue who these kids are.
  5. Wear Chuck Taylors to concert solely on asphalt. Enjoy pain in feet for two days afterward.
  6. Have one of your alumni assistants ask if you are going to dye your goatee to get rid of the grey.
  7. Notice many kids who are way too young to be that drunk.
  8. Refuse to stand on line and pay $7.75 for a plastic bottle of Bud/Coors/Miller Lite, even if you are parched and at a concert.
  9. Notice that the people your age at the concert are hanging back from the crowd; they’re waiting for their kids.
  10. Realize that although it’s grey and low-50s temps, while you are layered with clothing, most people are wearing t-shirts and no jackets.
  11. See girls crowd surfing and being pulled over the fence by security guards; double-check that they’re not one of your band members.
  12. Notice that even though there are food, drink, and beer vendors, there is litter everywhere and very few garbage cans.
  13. Plan to see several bands in succession that you actually know. Stay for two (Less than Jake and MXPX).

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